June 14, 2011

Creepy Crawlies

I made it back to camp today. I slept in a while this morning since my sister and I stayed up til almost 3 talking to the neighbor girl from down the street who just got back from AZ for the summer!! That was waaayyy to late for this old lady :)

So I finally got out of bed around 9:30, got ready for the day, went and got a McDonald's bagel for breakfast (so not good for my points, I know), then went home and loaded up the truck (my dad let me take the Expedition for the rest of the week!!), and left for camp. I got here just as the kids were coming in for lunch. Since I had just had McDon's I didn't eat with them but I did get to sit and chat with them which is always nice. Then, while they were having quiet time after lunch I sat on the deck in the sun and read. Last summer while I was here I read "Eat, Pray, Love" and I really really like it. In March I bought "Committed" which is the follow up by Elizabeth Gilbert to read while we were on vaca in CO, but that didn't happen. So I'm trying to read it now. It really isn't the best book to be reading while I'm preparing for marriage. See, the future Mr. and I are pretty traditional people. We believe in marrying one person and you make it work. I think that marriage is the natural thing to do, and I think it's the right thing for us. While, Elizabeth Gilbert doesn't feel quite the same way. The book is basically her research on marriage, what marriages have looked like at different periods throughout history, and the pros and cons of marriage. She makes it sound like marriage is a dying institution that really has nothing to do with the church or God. It's really hard to read. I really believe that marriages can and do work. I believe that the church and God are both important pieces in marriages. I believe that the future Mr. and I can do this. Sure, I have my doubts somedays but those doubt are mostly rooted in my own insecurities. I am afraid that one day my future Mr. will wake up and realize that he wants something better and he doesn't really love me. I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don't feel like any boy/man has hurt me terribly bad in this area to cause this. Stasi Eldridge talks a little bit about this in her book "Captivating" which I love. She talks about how as church woman we feel the need to do everything and be everything to everyone. I'm worried that I won't be able to be everything that my future Mr. needs. I know that this sounds irrational, there is no way that anyone can be everything for someone. But I'm worried that I won't be enough. But we will make it work. And we won't approach it like business deal (like Liz and Felipe are in "Committed").

I know that was kind of a tangent. It wasn't what I meant to write about at all, it just sort of came out. After my time reading in the sun on the deck :) I went and joined the kids during their canteen time and I picked a tic off my foot!! It wasn't attached yet, but it was crawling on me. Yuck! I hate tics. I don't really like any bugs but tics and mosquitos are my least favorite. And now I feel like things are crawling all over my legs. I'll have to take a shower before I go to bed and make sure that I don't have any bugs on me.

Hope you're having a great day!
Love, a future Mrs.

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