Communication

I had two seperate continuting eduation events for my job in Feb that took me out of town for mulitple nights. While it was all fine and dandy for me, it left my new husby feeling lonely. Up until we got married, he worked for his dad, lived at his parents house, and got to hang out with guys that he's been friends with for years most nights of the week. On the other had, I've lived by myself for 2 1/2 years, 100 miles away from my parents, where I work on a church staff of 4 (the other 3 are all old enough to be my parents), there are 2 families that I'm really friends with outside of church and the only time I see my friends is when I go away for the weekend.

Both of my continuing ed events included lots of people that I'm friends with and people that "get" what I do for a living. These are the events that fill my soul. Without these events, I don't know how well I could do my job or if I could stay in this northern town that I live in.

Now that you have some back round info you can see the problems that these events may create in our relationship. He doesn't want me to leave. He's lonely.

On Sunday I was suppose to leave for Minneapolis/St Paul for a workshop on confirmation. The weather up here wasn't so great. So the girl that I was going with and I decided to wait and go down on Monday instead. I was suppose to come home on Wednesday. By the time we got back to Fargo/Moorhead (where the other girls lives) it was 6:30 pm. I really didn't feel like driving 2 more hours home. I was tried, it was getting dark, and my sister lives in Fargo so I decided to go see her and stay at her apartment.

Before I went to her place I ran some errands. I went to JoAnn Fabrics and Target :) While I was at Target the Mr was texting me. He asked what I got at JoAnn Fabrics. I said, can I just show you when I get home tomorrow, that is so much easier than trying to txt you? His response? Fine.

Oops! I asked if he was mad and he said he was just trying to make conversation. Crap- I messed that one up. So I indulged him. I told him everything I bought and why I bought it. We txted for 15 minutes about what I bought at JoAnn Fabrics. Here I was, feeling slightly smothered by his txt and all he wanted was to communicate with me.

It wasn't until later that it all dawned on me. How much each of our lives have changed and how much we've both had to give in our routines and how we do things. I've had to learn to share my space, my apartment, all of these things that I was used to having to myself and doing alone. But my life hasn't changed nearly as much as his. I still live in the same apartment and I have the same job. He moved out of the only house he's ever lived in (srsly- same bedroom his whole life), he has a new job, he doesn't get to see his buddies every night any more. He's adjusting, and I'm learning how to help.

*****

Another adjustment for my husby: money. Poor guy never really had to pay bills before. I paid rent yesterday and he was like "didn't you just do that, it really doesn't feel like it's been a month". And I got to teach him about taxes being taken out of his paycheck. His dad didn't do that- they paid quarterly taxes. We're learning about having a joint account... that's another post all together...

Love, Mrs. K