April 14, 2011


sorry for such a downer of a title but yesterday was a downer of a day. and i'll get there, but first i have to tell you about dinner with my high school friends- i love them!

so on tuesday i only worked til 1 then i left for my mom and dad's. i got to hang out with my parents for a while until my mom had to go to work. then my dad took me down to zorbaz (pizza and mexican joint) for a drink before i went to meet my friends. my friends and i went to my mom's bar and resturante for dinner (well it isn't really "hers" but she's the manager). i met margaret and ashley there (ashley- there's your name!!) and tasha was suppose to come meet us too but someone at her work quit so she had to work late on tuesday and be back early wednesday so she couldn't come down from fargo :( i miss her. but it was so great to catch up with margaret and ashley. ash told us all about house hunting and the difference that she and her husby have on what kind of house they want. i'm sure my future mr. and i will have all kinds of difference when it comes to picking a house. i like old houses with charm and character and he likes new houses because they have fewer problems and they're cheaper to maintain. whatever. we don't have to even think about that for a few years. margaret told us all about her new husby, how they met, what the wedding was like, and what their plans are now. i shared wedding plans and tried to make them buy jewlery and uppercase living stuff for our church's fundraiser. then we went to another bar in town for a drink and our waitress was another girl that we had gone to high school with. she knew that i was engaged and that i'm dress shopping (this bar is only a block from my parents house in a town of less then 10,000 everyone knows everyone's business). so we talked about my dress dilema for a while. it was fun. it was relaxing. it was good for my soul.

and i needed that goodness for my soul because yesterday was horrible!!! i would say it was the 2nd worst day since i started working at church. (the first was so bad that i don't even want to talk about it.) the day started with e-mails about post prom which is a sticky subject. i don't really want anything to do with it at this point. so molly was freaking out about donations and how we had to get all of them by tuesday at 4 so that all of the businesses that donated could be mentioned in our thank you in the grand march program. i wasn't that worried- i thought if they don't donate until wednesday or later and the prom is on saturday it's their own fault that they're not in the thank you. and besides why do they need public recognition- what happend to doing something nice just because? anyway- i was done collecting doantion because we had the prizes that we wanted to give away or the money to buy the prizes and we still would have seed money for next year. i'm sick of feeling alienated because i don't think we need to keep pestering business if we have enough stuff. and i thought we were doing this prize wheel that we did last year and all i got in an e-mail from molly was "i thought we were doing bingo. not the prize wheel." no, hi, hello, no greeting at all. and she didn't sign the bottom of the e-mail.

if that had been all i could deal with it. but then i picked the jr hi'ers up for youth group. during high's and low's one girl said that her low was that i was there. and her high was that i had to leave for a minute to get something out of my office for a mom. and one of the boys kept saying similar stuff and pushing it. i finally said, if it's so bad and you don't like me and you don't like youth group why do you keep coming? we don't have to do this every week! i struggled through the rest of high's and low's and bible study then i had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom where i cried. 7th graders made me cry. what is wrong with me? how did i let my feelings get so hurt? and during bible study they all kept talking over me. i can get loud, i have a big voice and they just kept talking. i couldn't compete with 15 jr hi'ers and 1 sr hi'er. i was so frustrated.

then between jr hi youth group and our lenten dinner i had a high school girl confide in my about her family problems. my heart broke for this girl. i cried for her. she is having to deal with things that no high school kid should have to deal with. she is having to deal with things that never crossed my mind in high school. all i could do was give her a hug and tell her that i'm always here for her.

and to top off the night i had sr hi youth group. they were loud, kept talking over me, and would not focus on anything. i was so frustrated, again. one of the girls, who i really like and i have had coffee with a few times and lunch a few times made a comment about going to lunch again. and another girl said "don't you have a life? you want to go have lunch with sarah?" i almost cried again. i was sitting 5 feet away!!! why would you say that in front of me? then i was trying to get them to plan the easter sunrise service and all they wanted to do was talk about c.o.d (call of duty- it's a video game).

i went home, called the future mr. and balled. he told me that they were just being typical teenagers and he remembers kids saying things like that when he was in youth group. i never remember anyone saying such mean things to angie, our youth director. the future mr. just kept saying they were being typical. i finally had to tell him to stop saying it. i said they may just be being typical teenagers and i may realize that later but it is not helping me right now. after i talked to him i called my sister because i needed to vent to a girl. my future mr. is a great guy, he listened, he tried to help, he was comforting, but he isn't a girl (thank goodness!) and sometimes you just need to vent to a girl.

so here's to hoping that today is better then yesterday.
love, a future mrs.

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